In My World, To Write is:

To inspire. To create combustive laughter. To ignite a fresh hope. To raise a question. To seek justice, raise awareness, and make needs  known. To wipe a tear. To steal a smile. To share identity. To re-ignite old passions and fan the flames of new. To say what others are afraid to express. To let people know they are not alone, precious, deserving, worth it. To speak of forgiveness. To argue that authentic love is truly the answer. To enjoy the simple things. To stay thankful. To color outside the lines and see the world from rare perspectives.To give a voice to those who have none or simply need to strengthen their vocal chords. To portray the art of life in a way only words can, even when they never seem to be enough.  To captivate hearts. To set hearts free. To encourage. To remind us from time to time, that you can't take the things in life too seriously.  To share my whit. To free my mind while exposing it to others. To accurately portray that which is with in. To stay insight of who I am. More importantly , to remain mindful of HIM. To use a gift. To be. To achieve a dream.

The drought must come to an official end.

Girl vs Dog - The Battle of a Canine Language Barrier with Luxury Leather

"I recently came home from a fabulous three week trip abroad. I am in the process of writing about the adventure and laughs and everything in between, as I failed to keep up with my writings along the way. Here is a little snippet of the journey midway through... I will eventually go back and start the story from the beginning."

Girl vs Dog - The Battle of a Canine Language Barrier with Luxury Leather.

It was my second full day in Italy and I woke up at 6:30, which is the earliest my alarm has been set on this Voyage, but it was for a good cause - a Tuscan "wine" tour. I planned ahead knowing that I would need to hit snooze at least three times, shower, and make the two mile trek to the central tour meeting location. It's amazing the things you will do in the name of wine. Right on schedule, I walked out the door as I had strategically intended. I was staying at the home of a lovely lady in Porta Romana, a town right outside of Florence. Also residing in the residence was a two year old boxer named "Riek". Riek was friendly and excited to meet me. I thought him to be a sweet canine and seemed quite manageable upon first greeting. Was I ever wrong....... 

As mentioned, I was on time when I set foot on the path that led to the garden exit. Riek was on that same path and what a morning dog he is! He did not want me to leave and he let me know it! I said "Hello Riek" in my nice dog voice that I use when speaking to loving pets and babies (sidenote: dogs and babies are uncannily similar.) Anyways, he saw this as an invitation to pounce. My sweet voice quickly changed into a loud, boisterous "NO" that resonated from deep within my diaphragm. Caesar Milan, the dog whisperer, says to always let the dog know who is in charge and who the leader of the wolf pack is. Clearly this pooch has issues with authority or I did not make my point, Riek began to bite my Louis Vuitton purse. Oh noooo he didn’t! No one messes with Louis V. Back it up puppy dog!  

"NOOOOOOO!!!! BAD DOG" I bellowed, but now Riek was engaged in a game than I wanted no part in.( I must say, he does have good taste in handbags. Touche’.)

I tried to move forward but I was blocked and jumped on by Riek. Please take note of the fact that I’m barely 5’1 and this dog was of equal or greater stature. I tried to turn around and go hide inside the house - blocked and pounced upon again. The evening before, I learned to say a word in Italian that meant "sit" but that escaped my memory and it was utterly impossible to reach for my 'google translator' due to the fact Riek was trying to eat my fine leather good that contained my one useful tool when dealing with language barriers. 

If this dog was anything similar to a bear, I knew running would only make matters worse. I even considered falling to the ground to "play dead" like they say to do if you encounter a bear but laying vulnerable on the ground in the presence of a male, un-snipped mongrel is less than the best of all potential ideas. Instead, I took a broad stance, grasped my Louis V like there was no tomorrow, and with both hands began to use my bag as a shield all the while allowing copious amounts of profanity to rush out my mouth. Into battle I went . The last thing on anyones mind when they are fighting a dog with luxury leather goods is “hmm, I really should be lady like right now so my mouth doesn’t get washed out with soap.” For some reason, in the heat of the moment, the four letter words were just rolling off the tip of my tongue like butter. FYI - the "F" word is not universal when it comes to taming dogs and establishing that you are attempting to be the head of the wolf pack. Caesar Milan left this one out for sure! 

"Riekkkkkkk", " I'm not going to get any wine!!" Wow, way to get your priorities straight, Jfair! 

I had done all that I could and before tears began to swell, I finally decided to treat Riek as the demon dog that he was appearing to be. " In the name of JESUS, I COMMAND you to leave me ALONNEEEEEEE and let me go have some WINEEEEEEE!!!!!" From obscenities to the name of Jesus , doesn’t He love us so well! It’s not how you start, it is how you finish, right? It was in God's hands now, He was the only one that could whisper in this italian dog's ear.(Caesar Milan- take that) Well, there is power in prayer! Can I get an "Amen"?!? Riek suddenly backed away (or at least he was less aggressive) and I was able to get away, me and Louis V unharmed. A true miracle in deed. 

This did place a kink in my time schedule, but the ordeal that followed is a whole other story. To be continued....

When One Journey Ends, Another Begins......

What a lovely feeling it is to have a spare moment to stop and grace my fingertips to my keyboard. Quite a bit of time has passed since my last blog entry. I shall update you in bullet point form:

• I finished school and graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in Liberal Studies from Simpson University. I was able to do this while achieving my goal of graduating with distinction and nothing less than an “A-” from the time I stepped back into the class room. This was an amazing feeling and the first time I have ever taken the time to meet my potential in a scholastic setting. 

• Next, I co-wrote, directed, choreographed, and produced a musical theater production. Another life changing experience. I was stretched and challenged in ways that I could have never imagined. I was divinely blessed with a wonderful partner in crime as well as a fabulous cast. Old dreams were awakened and new dreams were birthed. I also had the opportunity to perform - those who know me, know how much I love getting my hands on a microphone. The show was a success. Many victories I feel are ones that have been left unseen until due timing. We produced more than a quality theatrical performance with exceptional talent, lives were transformed- and to me, that is the greatest victory of all. 

• Finally, my almost five years of residency in Redding, California came to an end. I packed my car,  filled it to the brim and Joanna Finchum and I set forth on a road trip extravaganza back to my home of Texas. The initial exit was a bit challenging - a two time dead vehicle, one twisted ankle, 7 stitches, and a blown left rear tire placed a little opposition in front of us. We eventually made our way out of the state once I became the proud owner of a new car battery and 3 fresh tires! Wow! The highway led us to the Grand Canyon with a pit stop in the freaky town of Roswell, New Mexico and finally, Texas. 

We all know that most children eagerly anticipate the day when after eight years of living alone, they get to return to the humble abode of their parents and join them in “holy room-mate-trimony”. Well, as of this past Tuesday, I personally am living out every kid’s wildest dream here in Odessa, Tx. Honestly, it has not been that bad. Granted, no matter how cozy my bed may be or how huge my closet, I am confident that I will not resort to becoming that old spinster who lives with her two dogs and parents. This is yet another pit stop in the life of Fabulously Fair.

So the question you are all asking is “What’s Next?” Concerning the answer to this question, all I can say is that I can only see as far as my headlights are allowing me to see.(I wouldn’t mind getting paid to write or be creative) This is not a perspective reached out of a lack of direction but one that has been attained through a lesson of trust that God has been teaching me on extraordinary new levels. From the standpoint of ‘How will I become a member of the real world?’ - as soon as I know I will fill you in. My gut tells me the answer is being strategically orchestrated in a divine manner as we speak and it will be revealed at the appropriate time. 

“It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out the matter is the glory of kings.” Proverbs 25:2

What I do know is that I am about to embark on the adventure of a life time. This coming Wednesday, a long awaiting traveling escapade will commence starting in New York City, followed by Washington, DC then off to London which will being the european part of the journey. From there I will experience such brilliant destinations as Paris, Venice, Tuscany, Florence, Rome, Barcelona, Madrid, and who knows where else.  For years I have been literally and figuratively dreaming of these cities and I cannot wait to see what lies a head. I am traveling solo and for those of you who just allowed fear to creep in because of that, please don’t. I’m smart, have good discernment, and believe that there is much purpose in this trip. I plan and expect to write a great deal which is why I am leaving out details of each destination that I can keep you anxious to read the next entry as I jot from place to place!

I strongly believe that something is waiting to be unlocked and this experience quite possibly holds the key. Excited is an understatement and I am thrilled to watch this dream turn into a reality. Hey, maybe it will even turn into a book? Please keep my travels in your prayers, not only for my safety but for the exciting unknown that is ahead. 

Let the journey begin! Until the next stop...... Stay fabulous!

Success.

Success : the accomplishment of an aim or purpose

• the attainment of popularity or profit
• a person or thing that achieves desired aims or attains prosperity
• the outcome of an undertaking, specified as achieving or failing to achieve its aims.

‘Success’ looks different for everyone. To some it means being the best and having the best, it may look like the amount of $ signs in your bank account, to others it may be to experience life long and meaningful love, and still to some, success is determined by the opinions and regulations of people in your life whom which you hear the loudest. After reading the definitions above, I came to the resolution that “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose” was the definition that most resonated with what I consider to be ‘success’.

I’m highly motivated by purpose. If I can’t see one, then good luck getting my light bulb to turn on. Even in mundane tasks, I need to recognize the target. Continuing on with the idea that success is the accomplishment of such - you must first determine your purpose, before you can recognize the accomplishment of your purpose. If you don’t know what you are headed towards, where in fact, are you even going?

I began to look around at the different areas of my life where I am pursuing a specific aspiration and asked myself how “I can I continue to triumph without letting my own personal speculations of such things get the best of me?" The revelation I received was this :

You don’t achieve success whether in life or in love by comparing yourself to others or by making choices based on fear from your past. You achieve success by knowing who you are, remaining true to that, and by remembering that you have something special and unique to bring to the table that no one else has. Eventually, you will find yourself sitting at just the right table.

This was possibly one of the most meaningful “ah ha” moments that I have had in a while. It took something so complex and reduced it to that which is actually quite simple. Success will be achieved through excellence, constant growth, and by choosing to just “be”. Beyond that, I am just running a long distance race that I have not trained enough for, ultimately leaving my body exhausted and dehydrated rather than having the agility to maintain my pace until I achieve the crossing of whatever finish line I may be dashing towards. You do not have to settle to experience success.

You may have heard the quote “It’s not how you start the race, but how you finish that counts.” It’s cheesy and it’s true. In our quest for success, there will be multiple failures, hurdles, roadblocks, dissatisfying relationships, let downs, and disappointments. But, if you continue to press on and know who you are, remain true to that, and remember that you have something special and unique to bring to the table that no one else has. Eventually, you will find yourself sitting at just the right table at just the right time. The success and achievement of your aim will come to pass - it’s inevitable.

Beauty in the Waiting Room - The Promise of Freedom and Restoration

What the enemy intends for evil and destruction, there is always an avenue for the Lord to redeem and take back that which has been stolen. Nothing goes wasted in the kingdom, for in every situation there is an opportunity for the glory and goodness of God to be revealed. It can be difficult to see the sun breaking through the clouds in the midst of a storm, but it will not rain forever. He made that promise. Remember the rainbow?

As American’s, we live in an instant gratification society and expect immediate results causing us become easily discouraged when something does not happen in the span that we imagine it should . If the solution doesn’t present itself in a timely manner, then it must not be the correct path or the quick fix for us, right? Wrong! I am naturally a “get-er-done” kind of girl. I get my mind set on something and I experience the incessant need to go get it now. I have learned impulse control- at least I am actively working on it.

If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again - “timing is everything!” As I continue to walk this notion out, I have learned along the way that there is so much beauty in the waiting room. What? Yes, beauty in the waiting room. We have all been to the doctor where we have anxiously and impatiently sat, checking our watches , waiting for our name to be called so we can then, go sit and wait a bit longer in a small confined room for the the doctor to finally see you. I’ve always wondered, “Why do doctors schedule appointments like this if they aren’t going to be ready at the allotted time slot?” What if the doctor is really on time, just not on our time? Hmm....

In hindsight, I would not have experienced the full magnitude of the blessing that God had in store for my life if an instantaneous result or answer would have taken place in many (and most) situations. I would have never developed trust in He who desires for me not only experience goodness, but greatness. My independent self, would also have never learned how to be dependent on the one who orders my steps (Proverbs 16:9). I would have never given HiM time to shape and mold me into the woman He longs for me to be.

I am here to tell you that God is a promise maker and a promise KEEPER!

This past week I was given the opportunity to share a portion of my testimony as a guest on a radio show through an organization called Mercy Ministries via www.mercymultiplied.org. It was an incredibly wonderful experience! (Watch out Oprah) I’m still astonished at the fact that God chose me. WOW! Five years ago this past October, I was the victim of rape. This was the story I shared with millions of listeners. While raising awareness concerning a prevalent issue, the focus was not on the trauma, but how I have experienced freedom and restoration. I have been transformed from victim to victor! 7 months after my incident, I received a promise from God that “my life would not be wasted” along with the verse 2 Samuel 23:2 “The Spirit of the LORD speaks through me; his words are upon my tongue.” I found this hard to believe at the time, given the circumstance. About a year after the rape, I wrote down that I desired to have the opportunity to minister to women who have been sexually or physically abused and release identity and hope. Again, I had no clue how this would take shape. I am convinced that God can take even the most ugliest of situations and bring forth beauty.

March 22,2012 was the fulfillment of that promise. Over 5 years after the rape and about 4 years after those desires had been placed in my heart, I was ready. His timing was perfect. I was able to speak from a place of authority as I had defeated the enemy (not on my own accord). There was no shame, no bitterness or animosity, no fear, no condemnation - nothing but freedom, hope, confidence, identity and wholeness .What we carry with in us is always meant to be given away. Freely we receive, freely we shall give. If my messaged helped one person encounter God, experience freedom and gain their voice back, then being completely vulnerable on live radio was absolutely worth it! It’s all out there now. My heart’s desire was to share my testimony with the hope others would have a revelation of the greatness that resides within them, allowing them to experience freedom and step into the fullness of who they are. Being raped does not define me. I believe that by revealing my past, others can receive liberation for their future. I must point out that God did not cause for this to happen - pain and hurt is never His will for us. The boys who chose to do this had free will - but God stood there with me in the situation, carried me through, and took the evil and has created good.

The restoration did not take place over night. Yes, I do believe that could be possible since nothing is impossible when you partner with the Holy Spirit. For me however, it was a process involving many revelations, mental rewiring, and trust.

There truly is no formula and no box we have to fit inside. I think God likes to color outside of the lines with some of us. Freedom and restoration might look different for everyone, but these are the steps that I’ve recognized in my life and they continue to resonate with my spirit. Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is Freedom

(2 Cor. 3:17) Whether you have been physically, sexually, or emotionally abused and violated, THERE IS HOPE! You can experience a renewed sense of self. This is not limited to abuse - but any area of life where you carry a burden and weight that is not meant for you to bear. It’s time to get rid of those chains! (Or as Jay -Z would rap “You gotta get that dirt of ya shoulders..... Go and brush yo shouldas off.” )

This is what I found be beneficial and fruitful:

• MAKE THE CHOICE

YOU have to choose to move forward. No one can force you or make the decision for you. You are a STRONG and POWERFUL individual and you CAN do this! You may have to make the choice day by day or even multiple times a day, but this resolution will help you take that first step into restoration. The choice may be painful. That’s ok, it won’t always be.

The past does not define your future. Instead, let it refine your future.

• THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DEPENDING ON YOURSELF AND DEPENDING ON GOD

No matter who you think you are, you CANNOT, I repeat CANNOT do this without relying on God. You will fail - plain and simple. When we are weak, He is strong. That is what good dad’s do - they allow us to depend on them. We take our best and meet it with God’s best.

Maybe you have never experienced Jesus and the comfort of His Spirit, and if that is you, where ever you are, whatever you are going through, I pray that in this very moment the Spirit of the Lord would rest upon you and you would begin to tangibly witness and feel His presence as you never have before, that He would begin to speak to you and a feeling of safety and peace would cover you from the top of your head to the tips of your toes as the refreshing life that He has to bring would captivate and penetrate your soul. He’ll never leave you. Maybe you have never invited Jesus to rule in your life as your savior - ask Him now. There is no fancy prayer, just be real, raw, and honest - just ask. Best decision you will ever make.

• AJUST YOUR LIFE TO ATTAIN TOTAL HEALING AND RESTORATION IF YOU NEED TO

Sometimes we might need to change our setting or environment to begin the healing process. I am NOT saying to run from your problem. For myself, God led me to a new city where I was given the opportunity to focus on Him and begin discovering my identity in Him - for you, it might getting rid of objects that remind you of the incident, getting new friends, changing your phone number, re-evaluating your social setting, ect.. If it’s not bringing you up, it’s dragging you down. Just take a look around you - you’ll know.

• EVERYTHING GREAT IS BIRTHED OUT OF INTIMACY WITH THE FATHER

God is not a distant God. He’s always speaking, we just have to train our senses to recognize His voice. Become His friend - God tells His secrets to His friends. Rather than think of it as a set aside prayer time, begin creating a constant dialogue. He who can be trusted with a little, can be trusted with a lot.

Good is in a GOOD mood. He is soooooo for you!

Decide that all you need is His spirit and you will never need a thing.

• SEPARATE LIES FROM TRUTH

I literally did this in list form. I wrote down every lie I believed about God and myself on a sheet of paper. I then stared at sheet of deception that lay before me and tears began to rush from my eyes. I finally destroyed the paper and flushed it down the toilet. After, I asked God to replace those lies with truth. I created a new list. I heard all sorts of things - many of which I did not believe and couple that I actually had to look up in the dictionary. This was probably one of the single most significant spiritual events that has ever taken place in my life. I would carry the list with me and anytime I began to struggle with self-hatred or self-consciousness, I would bust out the list and read over and over again. I would think to myself, “ Ok God, if you say so... I DO NOT believe this yet, but I’m going to trust you on this one”.

I re-read this list the other day, and tears came to my eyes once again as I realized that I truly believed every single truth on the list!!! Wow! That was a huge accomplishment for me considering the battle that took place between myself and the Lord for me to even jot a few of the items down. I really love myself and who I am. Best list I ever made. I am not an exception to the rule. This self-love that I speak of is meant for YOU.

Lies create self destruction. Anything that contradicts the nature of God is a lie. That is a good place to start. If you don’t know the true nature of God, go back to intimacy. He’ll reveal Himself. EXPECT to experience goodness.

• FORGIVE

Forgive yourself. It was not your fault. It was beyond your control. You did not cause this to happen. Forgive yourself. We are our own worst enemy and greatest critic. It will be impossible to move forward if you can’t forgive you.

• FORGIVE

Forgive the one that hurt you. This is not easy. Forgiving does not mean that you are agreeing with what happened and it doesn’t mean that you are going to forget. It most certainly doesn’t mean that you will trust them . Trust is often earned. It’s making a choice to let go of the bitterness that will destroy you. I really think that forgiveness if more for us than it is for the one who wronged you. You may have to do this more than once until it sinks in. I did. That’s ok. It’s a process. Give yourself some grace.

God forgives us on a daily basis. Who are we not to forgive?

• GET A MIND TRANSPLANT

Check your mindset. Are you polluting your world with negative thoughts or choosing to see the goodness around you. What you focus on you become. (see previous blog post)

• ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL AND LET OTHERS IN

Let the feelings draw you towards God. Don’t try to numb out what is taking place. This will create a cycle and get you no where but stuck on repeat. Let people in and allow them to help you if need be.

Your devotion has to be stronger than your emotion.

• KNOW WHOS YOU ARE AND WHOS YOU ARE

You are a child of God! You are royalty. There is absolutely nothing that could cause God to love you more or less. You are simply perfect for Him to use! He used me, and I sure don’t have it all together. You are chosen!

• KEEP GOING. YOUR LIFE WILL NOT BE WASTED

Take it step by step and day by day. You are worth it! You are valuable!

“Nothing is impossible for even that says I’m Possible” ~ Audrey Hepburn

Normally once a story has come full circle, "The end" seems to be the most appropriate close.... But really it is only THE BEGINNING! Enjoy the journey to freedom! You’re worth it. Jesus died for it! It’s time to truly live!

What You Focus On, You Become.

“What you focus on, you become.” - This statement is not a new concept to me. However, for the past few weeks it remains an idea that I simply cannot extract from my thought process.My life is transitioning and happening fast. The change appears to be one that is exceptionally strategic and intentional. I continue to be unaware of all the answers and plans involved in the shift taking place, but how much I know is irrelevant compared to where I choose to maintain my focus.

Knowing that I will be stepping into something new relatively soon, I have experienced a few sleepless nights as my mind has stewed while a few tears have been shed. I began to have an irrational fear that I would be forced to settle in life and not have the opportunity to live out who I was created to be and leave my mark on the world. ‘Irrational fear’ is an understatement, knowing that this is absolutely impossible, I think I was just feeling a bit overwhelmed. I had to choose to make a mindset shift quick. If I continued to process from a place of fear how could I step into my hope and my future? A future with a promise to prosper? (This is not the first time in my life I have had to change my thought process)

Recognizing that this was not a mentality in which I could thrive, I took a step back. I had to simply lift up my hands and realize that I was completely and utterly dependent on God to strategically set up my next season, rather than myself. Immediately, I experienced a weight being removed from my shoulders and a hopeful anticipation renewed. Since that moment, I have pursued that which has been placed before me. Still no great answers, but extreme peace in exchange. Doors have begun to open and I remain in a place of astonishment, expecting that the best is still yet to come. Still proactive in my pursuit while remaining dependent, the only doors I long to walk through are the doors that no man can shut, and ones that no man can open. His timing and plan is perfect.

Being one that can easily slip into an attention span similar to a 10 year old boy who is experiencing the peak of a sugar rush, I have learned that there are specific things I can do to aid in maintaing my focus. I am highly visual. It is not unusual for me to create lists for even the most absurd of categories - they help me. I have lists to stay on task for my week, but I also have lists that I believe have the power to enhance my dreams and my destiny. Some of these I share and some are simply between myself and God. I’ve even taken one of my list and created a vision board that I look at every day. It’s updated regularly and located where I see it often, it is impossible to ignore what is inside of me. Taking a moment each day to focus on the dreams, ambitions, and promises over my life allow me to constantly acknowledge what God is doing. It is also a reminder of what a friend and wonderfully, wise man once told me - “never wait for tomorrow to live out today’s destiny.” You see, rather than waiting to arrive and hit your peak, each day is an opportunity to live in a way that gets you once step closer to the end goal. Constantly moving forward. There is purpose in the process.

Our mentality materializes our movement.

Our perception of the environment around us has a dramatic impact in regards to how we choose to interact with life and the cards that we are dealt. I stand strong on my belief that we have a choice when it comes to what lens we see through. Though we are often conditioned by past experiences, we are not void of the option to switch the shades we are wearing. Sometimes it’s not as easy as it would be to just pop over to Lens Crafters for a new pair of glasses, but the possibility is still tangible.

The idiom “rose colored glasses” came to mind. I feel like every time that term has been referenced, at least in my experience, there has been a glimpse of a snide undertone involved. Somewhere along the way, expecting the best of all possible situations and maintaining an optimistic view has unfortunately become something that many scoff at and respond with a statement similar to “well that’s just not reality.” Yes, there is evil in the world, and yes, bad things will happen - but the more momentum you have when a hurdle is placed in front of you, the less of a challenge it will be to jump over it.

I don’t think it is any coincidence that I love all things pink and highly value optimism. I’ll wear rose colored glasses any day. I expect to experience good things in my life and I do. However, my life is not absent of things that I'm not fond of. Crap happens, but sometimes it’s that very crap that makes the best fertilizer and produces the most significant growth. If you choose to simply focus on the crap, you are going to be wearing a dirty diaper for quite a long time. Let me know how that works out for you.

You see what you choose to see.

If you only recognize that which is negative, you are going to live a pretty disappointing life because nothing will ever seem to measure up. How miserable. You can never fully experience the goodness of God because you are stuck thinking about what you are waiting for Him to do and what you cannot see rather than expressing thankfulness for promises and prayers already fulfilled.

Our perception of the environment around us has a dramatic impact in regards to how we choose to interact with life and the cards that we are dealt. We will either respond (origin meaning ‘to answer’) or react (origin meaning ‘done again’). In other words, we will answer with a solution or repeat the cycle.

Think about the term “focal point” from the perspective of how it is applied when referencing an earthquake. An earthquake starts below the earth’s surface at the focus or epicenter. The severity of the earthquake is determined by the energy originated at the origin. Upon the release of energy, waves are sent out which is the shaking movement that is felt. So now, take that illustration and visualize from a personal standpoint. You are the earthquake. What kind of energy is being determined based on your focal point and upon that conclusion, what kind of waves are being felt? Earthquakes are forces of nature that have the potential to devastate with a high enough magnitude. However, in comparison to the nature that we choose to live, the earthquakes created by our individual lives have the capacity to be devastatingly wonderful. It’s all dependent on what is radiating from our focus.

I make no claims to have it all together. I am simply speaking from a place of living on both sides of the spectrum and from a heart where I have experienced the power of the mind. Sometimes it boils down to whether our mentality has been developed from truth or from lies. I challenge whoever is reading this to ask themselves, “What is captivating my focus?” Is your perspective rooted in truth or are you seeing through clouds of lies? Are these things beneficial? Is that which you are focusing on bringing you closer to that innate feeling of “wow, I was born exactly for this?” Are you experiencing waves of life or destroying the world around you one thought at a time?

If you do begin to realize that you might be do for a mentality transplant, step back and position yourself in a posture of thankfulness. I personally find it difficult to be thankful and negative at the same time. If you are visual like myself, make some lists, set goals, and draw out the gold inside yourself that is waiting to be discovered. This is an instance when the grass is truly greener on the other side. Put on those 'rose colored glasses' and hop the fence.

You become what you think about the most. Who do you want to be?

DEBBIE: mother, wife, friend, birthday girl, super woman- the original "Fabulously Fair".

This upcoming Saturday marks the beginning of another year that the world will be graced with the life of an extraordinary woman. On March 10, 1956, the most wonderful lady in the world was born - my mother. It’s an honor to be called her daughter and even more of a privilege to call her a friend. Anyone that knows “Debbie-do” will agree with me when I say that the atmosphere changes when she enters a room. Her joy and bubbly personality brings light to the darkness. 

Now, when I say that my mom is wonderful, I do not say it lightly. There is reason after reason justifying why she is simply magnificent. Thus, a list seems the most appropriate in my recognition of her.

• She has literally NEVER met a stranger. You can count on my mom to befriend anyone and everyone. 

One of my favorite memories of her is when the two of us were on a vacation together in New York City. To start the day off she said, “I’m going to see how many people I can make smile today.” (She has made this statement on numerous occasions, I think it's game she likes to play out in public). We made our way to the subway to venture on to who knows where, and took our seats. Anyone who has ever been to NYC or much less on an NYC subway, culturally, you pretty much mind your “P’s and Q’s” and keep to yourself- not today, Debbie was on board. The next thing I know, our of side of the subway car was smiling, laughing, chit-chatting, and carrying on (highly uncharacteristic of a subway ride). All they needed was a little DFair to spice up their day. 

• It’s rare to find people in this world that you can pour your heart out to, unfiltered, unashamed. My mother is that person. I have yet to meet another individual who will just take you as you are the way my mom does. People go to her and open up because they know they will not be judged, they will simply be accepted, loved and listened to. If you have ever had any other mindset other than the one I just expressed, you should probably step back and check yourself, for you have an inaccurate view of my mother's heart and intension. I’m convinced that if I have told my mom, then I have no secrets. If I can’t tell her, then “Houston, we have a problem”.

• My mom gave a Christmas gift to the mail man. Enough said. When I asked her “Why?” she replied, “well he does a lot for me.” Did you give your mail man a Christmas gift this year? I didn’t think so. 

• This moves me on to my next point - how incredibly generous and kind she is. This is a characteristic that both of my parents portray so well, but especially my mom. She doesn’t think twice about it and it is second nature to give. She always goes above and beyond herself. Mom, make sure you put yourself first every now and then, ok? :)

• My mother is absolutely beautiful. Inside and out. I’ve heard it said that a man should look at a girl’s mother to see what she is going to look like in 30 years. All I’ve got to say is “DANGGGGG- I’m going to be HOTT” so boys, get in line and take a number. 

• She’s pretty feisty and quite scrappy. I’d put my money on her in a fight. She would probably win if it didn’t result in laughing by the end of the battle. The woman can definitely hold her own. 

• Speaking of laughing, she makes herself laugh.... A lot. 

• One of my favorite “Debbie-isms” is that she NEVER knows the words to ANY song. It’s adorable really, because she likes to sing along to all of them. (Hey Mom, there is an app for that now.)

• My mom is like the energizer bunny- she keeps going, and going, and going. She can get more done in a day than most people get done in a week. No Joke. And, she can pretty much do anything. Incredible talented. 

• Plants - I kill everything I plant and she can grown anything. Still waiting on my green thumb. I thought it would come with maturity but I have yet to see it manifest (thus, my need for a cabana boy- as that seems to be the appropriate solution to everything in my mind). She also knows the names of the plants. I bet if someone wrote a song about plant names, she might be able to sing along to that one ;)

• My mother, without a doubt is the strongest woman I have EVER met. So brave, so courageous, so compassionate - she could conquer the world. 

• Debbie-licisous is seriously one of the funnest people I know. She is always a blast and other than  Kellie Sharp, I could probably get in the most trouble with her if opportunity presented itself. Life of the party for sure. 

• Not only is my mother the best mom ever, she is absolutely the best wife. I look at all that she does and how she loves my dad so well and I am amazed. I think she should win an academy award for that role .

This list could go on and on, as there are so many fabulous attributes when it comes to my mother. She is selfless and more times than not is the one that ‘takes it for the team’. What an inspiration she is to all she encounters.My life has been so blessed by her unconditional love and never ending support of who I am and all of my dreams. My hope and prayer is that she fully knows and understands how much she is loved and valued. You should all probably be jealous that she is not your mom, but I am sure if you want her to be, just ask and she will warmly greet you with open arms. 

What a compliment it is when someone tells me I look like her. I also find that the more I age, the more I recognize little mannerisms that I do where in the moment I laugh and say “Oh, Crap- I just looked exactly like my mother”, but in reality, I enjoy the fact that the “Debbie” in me comes out. 

The Lord knew what He was doing when He gave me the gift of my mother. She truly is a gift. The amount of love I have for her could never be expressed no matter how articulate or intricate the wording. She breaks the mold. If you don’t know her, you should for she will surely change your life. If you do know her, cherish and relish every moment you get to share with her because you will never be the same. Also, make sure to celebrate her since I can't be in Texas to do so myself. 

Mom, Happy Birthday Week! May this be the best year yet, full of laughter, memories, and dreams come true. Thank you for always being there for me and for the countless sacrifices you have made. I love you, and I will never put you in a nursing home (haha), but really, only a chateau will do for you. I pray that you are personally blessed as much you bless those around you! You are highly appreciated! I LOVE YOU!!

"Valentines Day Revelation" - repost, but too good not to read/share again.

Valentines day. It's just around the corner. This is a re-post of something I wrote last year. I came across, re-read it, and I thought that it was worth posting and/or sharing again. Know who you are and WHOSE you are and let that be where your greatest LOVE and greatest pleasure come from this February 14th.  

This morning I had a Valentine's day revelation. Several weeks ago I said that this year, I refuse to host or go to any "Single ladies valentine's dinners or parties". I have participated in these events in the past, and my opinion is not meant to offend anyone who has plans to do this very thing come Monday,(or Tuesday since it is now 2012 and this is a re-post),  but for some reason, the thought of these parties just really bothered me. I just realized why...

Being single does not define me. In fact,  I embrace the single. I am not some femi-nazi, but there is no better time to live out your wildest dreams and goals. Doesn't that just make you want to hop on a plane and fly to Paris or Spain with out a plan or care in the world? Well, it is just you and You can! The purpose of Valentines day is for love, not to declare how single you are and use Beyonce lyrics to  make you feel better about it. Beyonce is quite the diva, but sassy hip shakes and a catchy beat is not enough to make you feel empowered. That comes from within.

Who cares if you are single on valentines day? I can buy myself flowers because I know that I am beautiful and search out the perfect box of chocolates because I know that I rock. Someday, someone else (other than my dad), will do these things for me and I will embrace it and channel my innermost cupid to making that person feel like they are the most loved and appreciated person on the planet. However, in this season, it is just me! 

In the past, I have not always been a fan of the holiday. I will admit I am compulsive when it comes to all things pink, glitter, and hearts- but my valentine's day track record hasn't always been so good. Try 3 break ups three years in a row - the day before Valentines day, the day  of, and the day after! Talk about Cupid missing the mark - I was starting to think that he needed some target practice. Ha! humorous now, but I let someone steal my Valentine's day thunder! I let someone else define ME!  No sir! Not this year! 

What if you made February 14th a day/night all about how awesome YOU are and how much you stickin' LOVE yourself and the way God made you? Forget the single ladies, how about an "I am ridiculously awesome and Love myself party!" Celebrate yourself!!!!! This does mean that you become stuck up and narcissistic for 24 hours, but if you can't love you, then how do you expect someone else to love you? You manifest what you carry within. 

I most certainly am not  trying to bash all you single ladies and all the single lady parties - I have been invited to a couple of them myself by some of the most fantastic women on the planet :). I am simply saying, don't declare all things "single" on valentine's day to fill a void . It is ok that you may not be experiencing a  "lady in the tramp, nice, romantic,spaghetti dinner" moment this Monday (Tuesday) night. Never be ashamed of the season you are in, whether it be single or taken, because God has you right where He wants you, in His hands! And let's face it, He is the valentine that will never disappoint. 

So whether you decide to get together with all your single ladies or whether you get a table for one, instead of voicing how single you are or how you desperately long to "meet your man", try recognizing and celebrating how incredible, valuable, lovable, magnificent, fun, amazing, talented, blessed, thankful, smokin hott, and fabulous YOU are! Now that's a holiday! Pop that bottle of wine open and go around the room and make everyone say what they LOVE about themselves! Take the focus off of labeling whether you are single or taken!

I am pretty sure that this is the Valentine's day mindset that I am going to be living in this year! Being single or having a "special someone" does not define me - I define ME!  and I LOVE me! Happy Valentines day!!